Women want it as much as the men do.

All along I have this (mis)concept that the men are the only one who are desperate. Although a little different in need but they have the same want, I guess.

So I was seated at this table of 8 other women during a recent wedding dinner. Out of this 8 women, 1 of them is my wife, 1 is attached and other 6 are all single and very available and nice ladies. I have no clue what baggage the have in depth that causes them to be single but physically and mentally they look pretty decent and nice to me. More importantly they do not have crazy eyes.

So it was a whole episode of behind enemy line for me. One of the few weddings where I am behind the line with the ladies and on the guys. Not listening to conversations like " That girl is so cute", "I think I want to know that girl", "That girl has some tits but look a little too young for me"but wait, did I not hear those conversation? Or did I?

Surprise myself, the women want it as much as the men do, they were too looking round for cute guys too judging  the guys on how good they look, also talking about relationship and wanting to find a guy in their life and too "scoring" the guys. So how different are the guys from the ladies? not much i guess?

So if a woman and a man has a same need/want/goal, what is stopping them to meet each other? Pride? Ego? Too good a self appraisal and asking for too much? What if we could lower our expectation? Give each other a little more leeway, will there be much more happy couples/people around us?

Are people around us letting good opportunity slip day by day just because of things like these?

Take it off and get it on. I mean take off your pride and get the love on. :D

RE: Calling a Woman the First Time.

So Holly was talking about "Calling a Woman the First Time"  over her NS.sg column. That is what a man would like to know right? As in a man would love to know what a woman think right? I have to agree with Holly on a few points about not calling at late night (cause late night call seems more like a booty call if you ask me), keep it causal and cool and most of the point in fact.

But what about the point on "not calling on the first day". And Holly too mention that waiting for 3 days is too long but is it too long ?


My Bro Barney begs to differ.  And he tells you the story of Jesus. WADDUP ~

If you ask me, I'm a little in between. No, not two days but a good try. I think with the new technology and all it's good to text her. A simple "it was nice meeting you and hope you have a great day, see you around". The reason behind this? This is to show appreciation and shows that you are interested and you are happy about having her number but yet not like super desperate.Woman too get a ego boost for knowing that isn't it? And on the other hand you will look too desperate if you call like immediately isn't it so? Keyword, play it cool, get the number drop a text and only call in a few days time. How many days? 3 days sounds okay.

Oh, and within this 3 days please try not to add her on facebook or twitter or anything. This only gives the girl the feeling you are a cyber stalker and it's like opening a flood gate to everything the girl has done. If you are interested in knowing the girl, know the girl yourself on a date and not via googling her or facebooking her.

That's my play on the playbook with regards to getting a person's contact. Does it work? You have to try it to find out. ; )

Mr.Smith, Stop Callin Stop Callin I don't wanna talk anymore.

The Shoes Theory

Finding "The One"

How to choose a pair of perfect shoes?

This is how this goes.  Ever thought of the pair of shoes which you really wanted and start to go on the hunt from places to places ? Sounds familiar to the ladies ? What about to the gentlemen ? Is this how you guys normally shop for a pair of shoes?

- Bright Color
- Must go with my (certain) dress
- High heels
- Price range around $100.

Next, is that the only pair of shoe you will end up with ? I know the answer, simple - NO. You might pick up another pair of shoe which is slightly cheaper cause it's on sale(which might not be what you wanted), you might pick up a pair which is a little more expensive than you thought but it looks really awesome and it matches the (other) dress at home. - Familiar enough ?

What am I talking about ? I am talking about in relationship, very often we setup to find a girl/guy who is who you really wanted her/him to be but you will probably end up with someone else.

- Tall
- Dark
- Handsome ( don't ask me why it is always these 3 stereotypes that come hand in hand)
- Rich
- Funny

So maybe you will pick up one who is Tall, Dark but not handsome. Or maybe just rich but not funny or maybe even none of the above but you are growing a little old yourself and you decided to put yourself up on the sale section and choose him instead. (Sad but it's true)

How did all these happened ? When will you know who is "THE ONE" for you ? Did "THE ONE" comes in mind first like before you even started searching for him/her or did you just grow into the one you are currently having and he/she just became the one all out of a sudden ? And is the one really the one? Or is the one just a habit?

There is no "The One"

Question : How can the one be the one in this shoes theory ?

Yes ! In fact in the shoes theory, we do not believe in "the one".

Simple - Can you wear you heels for your yoga lesson ? Can you wear you running shoes to a ball ? Can you wear your sandals and do a tap dance? I guess you get my point now. Your partner can never be the one person who can do everything with you.

Analogy - typical "wife material" wife might not be able to help you at work. A very independent wife might not be the best house wife. A wild and fun girlfriend might not be your kid's best mother. 

No, I am not telling you that every person should have 4 wives or 5 husbands ( that's a little too much both financially and physically ).  What I am saying is that everyone has their own short comings and everyone has limits. For love, you will do him/her things for him or her. I am saying that sacrifices have to be made. Neither am I telling you that you have to change you life just for your partner but I am saying you make your best choice.

Example : you really love this pair of running shoes, I suppose you have to just keep running, stop going to parties and maybe learn to dance in your running shoes. If you really can't do it? Try a pair a sandals, learn to run in it, dance a little, ignore how people laugh at you for wearing that to events but most importantly is to feel comfortable in that pair of footwear. Else ? Go barefoot might be a good solution. Stay single and just change your shoes around but remember, there's THAT many pairs of shoes one can wear at a single time. : )


The Shoes Theory


In conclusion, You might not get the shoes you set up to find but you might find a pair you grow to like, in fact you might like it so much you will never want to take it off. The shoes you like might not bring you everywhere, but I am sure there are somewhere that you went with this pair of shoes and you will always be glad for where it had brought you to.


Mr. Smith, have you found the pair of shoes you always wanted ?  

When is the best time to....

There is the right time for everything. And in Singapore context the perfect answer for "what time is it" is always "it's Tiger Time". It sticks in the head so well that 10 yrs has passed and we are still doing it. kudos to the creative team.

Anyway, today's topic is about. When is the best time to ...

From "How I met your mother"

Yes, if you are a HIMYM's fan you should know that look on Ted's face. When is the best time to say "I Love You" . Is it 1 day into the relationship? Is it 1 month into the relationship ? or is it almost never ? 

From what I've notice, Singapore being a country of mixed culture and high exposure to media and oversea's culture ( expat, oversea's work, study trip and even exchange) has caused Singaporean to have a good mix of different concept about love and relationship. I mean I am sure this is happening every where around the globe due to globalisation but I am just talking about locally. 

I would normally divide local youngsters ( sorry, I'm not making a racists remark in this case but I only know the Chinese cause I hangout mainly with the Chinese) into two main group. The "Cheena Pai" and the"The Ang Mo Pai" . So you fall into either group or maybe for some cases like myself I would say I'm pretty much an in between. 

The Cheena Pai 

How to identify them - Speaks Chinese, play mahjong, sing KTV, go KTV Pub, Tiger is fine, Drinks Martell. 

The Ang Mo Pai 

How to identify them - Speaks English, play strip poker, watch MTV, go clubbing, Erdinger Only and drinks drink with interesting names like Martini, Graveyard or some Green Zombie. (Just make up your own name.) 

On top of the general ways mentioned above they also have a little differences when it comes to relationship. 

The Cheena Pai

Dating mostly means pak tor and couple. Will probably commit faster and say "I love you" when they officially becomes a couple. Unlikely to hookup and have sex until after being a couple unless they are friends with benefit, ONS or drunk. 

The Ang Mo Pai

Prefers the dating game. Date such as dinner date, outing date and etc. Might have sex first then decide if they should be a couple and if there is no kissing at the end of the night, the date might considered as failed. Harder for them to commit into a BGR relationship and spend a long long long long time to really say the 3 word - I love you. 

Well, of course the above is plainly my observation and might not be right or in fact like I say, Singapore being a very well exposed country many of you might be a in between of both traditional and new age. 

The Makeout Effect 

Couple saying I love you half way during or after making out (or sex). At this moment is the moment of love and bliss(unless the sex or makeout ain't really good. too much teeth or too much tongue.. wadever) and it's very easy for couple to feel "love". Thus, saying I love you during that period is totally not true. He/she could mean that "I love the sex", "I love you(r) blowing" or many other possibilities. 

So after so much talking, what is the best moment to say the 3 words ? It will be an unplanned moment. Many a times in life there are too many things that you planned for that will not happen the way you wanted it to be. Thus, spontaneous is truth. It's THE moment. Be cool about it. You will know when the moment is.  You might even say it at the most unexpected moment. 

As for me, I love you (all) . 

XOXO !